They finally opened a Panera Bread where I live. I have died and gone to heaven. I might move in here.

March 25th at 6:39 pm | Uncategorized | 4 comments

So I was told that I need to inform the world that I am alive. Which I am. Barely. Things went from really really good to really really bad so quickly that I literally could not even break down how the pendulum swung so far. I’ve tried to tear myself away from the internets because (and a NYTIMES article supposedly backs this up) it is a bit addictive. And I can easily get caught up in the madness….*how many hits did I get today, blah blah blah…* Not to mention reading about other peoples lives in a way that sometimes feels- dirty or intrusive. I think my life goes in waves. My emotions too. One minute I feel like I’ve figured out who I am, the next I feel completely lost, like I’m drowing in a tsunami.   I feel guilty and inadequate because I haven’t found my way, I still feel so insecure….

March 25th at 1:54 am | Uncategorized | 2 comments

I’ve been lagging on the blogging lately. My one resolution for 2008 was to finally concentrate on myself, my own personal happiness and growth/evolution. I wanted to pamper myself as well as search for what would be truly fullfilling. And I have stayed true to my word (i think this is literally the only resolution I have ever followed through with). This blog had sort of a specific focus for a while but as I evolve so needs to the blog. I am hoping to have a new design soon, and with that more blogging from me. I don’t want to be just one thing. Because I’m not. I’m vain and superficial and spend hours reading Perez Hilton and Gawker and googling Botox and face creams and fad diets. But there is the other side to me, the humanitarian, the political junkie, the web nerd. This year is all about integrating my two selves. I can write a chick lit novel and also work for The Innocence Project. I can be silly, laugh at myself, wear makeup, throw on 4 inch peep toe pumps and spend two hours curling my hair,  wonder why love seems like it’s so hard to find and even more difficult to keep. I still watch Sex and the City. And I’m not ashamed of it. I spend most of my days in Hello Kitty pajama’s wrapped in a Hello Kitty Blanket writing on Pink post it notes, listening to Feist thinking  “Omg, I should so be at the gym right now.” But I can conversely be incredibly serious, thirsty for knowledge, compassionate and empathetic, determined to do something, anything with my time on this earth that will have mattered in a significant way. I don’t want to live in a box. Anyone’s box. Especially my own. Here’s to having DD boobs, a love for skinny jeans and juicy gossip and also being an actual intelligent, hard working, noble human being:)

xoxoxo,
ilyana

February 6th at 6:59 pm | Uncategorized | 4 comments

OhmygodIhavetheworstfuckingheadacheIthinkI’mgoingtodieIwouldliketoamputatepleaseOhmygod.

 P.S. America seems to think that Miami is only good for Clubs and Crime. “It’s a nice place to visit but I wouldn’t live there.”

 I remember when I used to say that same thing, I swear.

February 1st at 12:19 am | Uncategorized | No comments

  
My new girl crush

By “Cat” I mean Catalogue. I get alot of Catalogues. But the only one I thumb through with delicious delight is, of course, the Victorias Secret catalogue. It has always held a singular place in my heart, even though the majority of its cutest items do not come in a size larger than a C. And if they do have a D-DD available, they charge like ten dollars more for it. I cannot tell you how this frustrates me to no end. But moving on….

Lately, I find myself anticipating the arrival of the Venus Catalogue more than Vicky’s Secret. And why??? Not because Venus has better clothing or bathing suits. They don’t have sexy names for everything. But its girls, IMO, are way way prettier. Totally GORGEOUS (look at the girl above- does anyone know her name???) And gorgeous girls make even ugly clothes look amazing.  The girls look fresher and I swear, they look a little less um….. famished:)

January 29th at 6:44 pm | Uncategorized | 4 comments

I think I have Blog Fatigue. I remember when my list of favorites(I don’t use readers or feeds) used to consist of like 5-10 sites. Now, I could literally spend the day JUST reading various blogs and sites and never get anything done. And to a degree, thats what’s been happening. And some people update their blogs so regularly throughout a day that I feel like I constantly constantly get distracted. And it’s not their fault. I, totally admire anyone with that kind of stamina, and absolutely love to read what they write, but it’s interfering with my ability to be productive. So much so that time I normally spend blogging myself is now being redirected to getting actual work done.

I hate when people say, “I’m taking a break from blogging.” I don’t want to. And will not make a concious decision to do so. But, I also wont force myself to post because I’m feeling guilty or anxious that I haven’t. I feel like I have so many balls in the air right now and need every second available to me so none of them drop!!! I am STRONGLY considering starting a Tumblog. In fact, my next post might be the link to a new Tumblog:)

January 28th at 5:38 pm | Uncategorized | 1 comment

before makeup -eeeesh,lol

My weak attempt to pull myself together.I feel like my body’s been invaded by some super strain of a super cold that no amount of Theraflu, Sudafed, Dayquil or drugs can cure. It’s evil!!!!

January 20th at 8:52 pm | Uncategorized | 5 comments

View of the Miami Intercoastal from what I REALLY really hope is going to be my new home!

The bathroom has a double sink, deep roman tub, stand up shower AND linen closet inside. None of my Manhattan apartments had double sinks. Or roman tubs. Much less a linen closet inside. Mind you there are two more closets in the master bedroom!

And did I mention it has a breakfast nook?!

I remember living in studio apartments or building makeshift walls to create makeshift bedrooms just so I could split my absurd rent. I love New York. I do. But sometimes, for brief moments, I love Miami too. I love that it allows for the possibility to OWN a 1400 sq ft 2/2 immaculate condo 5 minutes from the beach and pay less than it once cost me to rent a 600 sq ft Upper West Side Studio apartment. Even though I loved that little studio apartment. Okay, this isn’t a time to get nostalgic Lani!!! Not when you are on the verge of having 11ft high ceilings with crown molding, 7 closets and your own washer and dryer. Oh, and Cheesecake factory is 2 minutes away. *Please let me get this place. Please let me get this place. Please let me get this place*

January 20th at 8:18 pm | Uncategorized | 6 comments

I love babies. They are all cute and cuddly and make you laugh just because they smile. But they are bombs. Like, nuclear bombs. They. explode.with. germs!!! In what can only be described as an answer to my prayers, my only Miami girlfriend lives on the SAME floor, THREE doors down from the condo I want to buy. What are the odds. So after a showing of said condo, I went to visit my girl, who has a two year old daughter I am in love with. And of course, she coughed and sneezed on me and three days later I’m SICK!!! I want to crawl into bed and never come out. I cant breathe, swallow, smell, eat….nothing!!!

January 17th at 7:32 pm | Uncategorized | No comments

Some of my long time readers might remember that around this time last year I wrote about the “Pocketchange Natural Selection Speed Date event” for wealthy men and the golddiggers beautiful women looking to meet them. I’ve kind of softened my position on this event. At the end of the day, whether it’s explicitly stated or not, isn’t all dating sort of about this natural selection thing. Aren’t most men looking for a woman they really want to see naked, and most women looking for a man who will be a stong partner, providing them(and their children) with some measure of stability. Sure, we like to imagine ourselves more evolved and cerebral and above this sex/money paradigm, but the reality is more often then not, there is at least a scintilla of truth to this notion. Maybe more than a scintilla.

I was joking last year when I said that I was “waiting with bated breath for the Sugar Mama’s and Poor Boy’s” follow up event, but my breath need no longer be bated as the genius’s behind this event have launched the search for guests to this years “Pocket Change Natural Selection Speed Date II: Sugar Mama’s and Hot Boys!”I have one minor bone to pick with the organizers this year. Namely, that when it was wealthy men applying, their identities were kept private and confidential, while the womens pictures and stats were published for any and all to see. This year, with the tables turned, the wealthy Sugar Mama’s pictures and stats are being made public. On the other hand, none of these women have anything to be ashamed about, they are almost all beautiful. In fact, if I were a young stuggling guy, I would sign up for this thing tomorrow!

January 15th at 6:07 pm | Uncategorized | 2 comments

Usually I am the one doling out the advice.  Usually, I have an idea of what the best solution to a problem is, the best way to solve all things complicated. But for this one, I’m sort of out of answers. This February is my birthday, Valentines Day and our anniversary, which is sort of a big deal because since we got together on Leap day four years ago, it’s the first REAL anniversary we will have. Now this is my dilemma. How do we celebrate all three occasions, in the same month, without going broke, but still feeling like each day was special. And I understand that Valentines day is a “Hallmark, corporate driven day” but I’m sentimental and I like to celebrate. Any creative idea’s?

January 14th at 4:41 pm | Uncategorized | 5 comments

“ There are other examples of trust in Japan’s society. For example, there are umbrellas at our local post office with a sign that says, “If anyone needs an umbrella, please use one of these and bring it back later.” Anyone can borrow $20 from a police box for train fare home if they lose their wallet, which should be repaid at the police box nearest your house. They’ll take down your information, but since you probably have no ID (having lost your wallet) in such a situation, it’s essentially done via the honor system. Finally, if you’re making a large purchase of lumber from Cainz Home, the local home center, they’ll be happy to loan you one of their small trucks to get it home, free of charge — even to a gaijin like me.
-from the J-list newsletter

January 13th at 7:34 pm | Uncategorized | No comments

The best part of this is her drawing hearts in the air. I love it!!!

January 10th at 7:03 pm | Uncategorized | 1 comment

January 10th at 1:33 am | Uncategorized | 4 comments

January 8th at 11:52 pm | Uncategorized | No comments

Ugggghh, sometimes I think I have OCD. When I focus in on something, I obsess. I obsessively research. And I can NEVER make decisions. Like ever. I totally loathe this about myself. I’m talking about ANYthing. I have been known to stand in the cereal isle at the supermarket for an hour. Because I can’t just pick something. It’s completely and totally ridiculous. Anyway, moving on……

I actually watched the entire New Hampshire Presidential debates last night. The only highlight of the night was Ron Paul. I’m like 95% sure I’m going to vote for Obama, but there is this sentimental side to me that still loves the Clintons. Obama embodies everything I think and feel and long for, but I’m like, is he really ready for the snake pit that is the White House??? We will see what he’s made of. 

 I’ve spent today obsessively googling Dell XPS 1330 discounts and coupons. It’s insane the amount of/coupons/discounts you can find if you look hard enough. So I’ve been online for like TWELVE hours trying different coupon codes. Because I have to buy a new one. Soon. My lease is up. Yes, I LEASE my computer. My dad and I both do. Because we were like, “Why are we buying something that we replace every two years.” At the end of the lease you can either buy your computer for a 1 dollar buyout, or you can send it in and get into the newest model.

 So there’s the computer thing, and then we’ve been shopping for Real Estate. While New York is still in its protected bubble, Florida has burst big. We saw five condo’s on Saturday, and ALL FIVE were in foreclosure. And THREE were in the same building. If we are going to buy, this is probably the year to do it. Decisions Decisions!!!! Okay, I’m about to go press play on my DVR…. Cashmere Mafia, The Wire and The L Word - TV is sucking me in again!!!!

January 6th at 11:58 pm | Uncategorized | 4 comments

originally posted by Lani at 8/07/2006 03:33:00 AM

“Like a flower you need to water me”

January 4th at 3:28 am | Uncategorized | 2 comments

Drock, I know that you think Kim is vapid  “Dumb as a rock”…..lol, but I had to rep for the Interracial Couples (of which I am 1/2 of, for those who didn’t know:) and post these pics of Kim and Reggie Bush from last night. They looked flawless, stunning and really happy. Maybe even engaged happy.

January 1st at 11:06 pm | Uncategorized | 11 comments

This time last year I was in a bad and tearful place. I felt like the world was falling apart around me, I had no direction, no security and fear was my best-friend. We shared everything. Fear, in many ways, took over my life. I embraced her, indulged in her unrelenting appeals to me. At times in my life when others might have fallen apart I’ve been fearLESS, but this past year, I just couldn’t. A father suffering, mother struggling, relationship hanging by string…I felt powerless. Who was I?

I was once the young, vibrant,compassionate girl people loved. Then I nearly died. And was re-set to Zero. Start all over. Re-learn to Walk. Talk. Write. Read. Who are you!!! And so  I spent last year, and a few before it sort of hanging in the wind. Slowly rediscovering my old self, while trying to also become comfortable in my new skin. Different, but maybe better. I leaned my limitations, and when and how to push them. I forgave myself when I stumbled. I learned to love myself, again. I pushed fear away in favor of her sister, my old friend, Fearless. 

This year will be different. This year I will focus on me and only me. If I’m lucky, life will be kind to me and those I love, give us a reprieve from the suffering of the past years. 2008 will be amazing. I can feel it. This is the year I will love myself more than any other. This year I will live in my skin not as a stranger, or temporary resident. I will own it and revel in it and adore it. I’ve leaned heavily on mighty shoulders this year, Mommy and Daddy, Mandy and especially Kwame, who listens to me rant and rave and question everythig I know and always with an even hand and steady wisdom, guides me and supports me when I feel completely and totally alone. To all of you and the readers of this blog, Thank you. I love you all infinitely and unconditionally. This year, we are going to kick some mutha*****ing ass.

December 31st at 9:42 pm | Uncategorized | 4 comments

December 31st at 9:27 pm | Uncategorized | 1 comment

December 29th at 6:49 pm | Uncategorized | 1 comment

December 28th at 1:05 am | Uncategorized | 2 comments

  
 - This weeks entertainment-

update: Almost done with this weeks books. Loved them all except for Dave Eggers “A Heartbreaking work of Staggering Genius” which I only bought because it was a Pulitzer finalist. I really wanted to love it…... I need more books. Any recommendations?

 original post after the jump:)

December 19th at 5:42 pm | Uncategorized | 8 comments

December 16th at 6:02 am | Uncategorized | 7 comments

     Keratin Complex Hair Therapy by Peter Coppola 
Formaldehyde FREE

How insanely good does my hair look.

December 14th at 6:14 pm | Uncategorized | 3 comments

December 13th at 3:19 am | Uncategorized | 2 comments

                                                                                                
                                                                                 ”Feedback” by Janet Jackson,

December 13th at 12:47 am | Uncategorized | No comments

December 13th at 12:03 am | Uncategorized | 3 comments

The inimitable Julie Marriott

I’m not sure exactly when this was, but sometime last year I began to hear rumblings about “This girl who reminds us of you. Well, she’s blond and talks WAY more then you. But she covers sports and she’s hot!!” Curious to meet this “new blond me”, Julie and I eventually began talking online, just about the business of sports reporting and being young and well, not hideously ugly, and the implications that can have on your career. But it was only last night, nearly a year later, that we actually met. And I’m happy to say that Julie is adorable and charming, maybe a little crazy in a totally endearing way and yes, she can talk. A lot. But I love it! After days of texting back and forth and plans never matching up, we finally met on Lincoln Road for dinner at Van Dyke Cafe, dessert at Gelateria Parmelat (best EVER Dulce De Leche gelato), a short stop at Club Mynt (where I saw Janie from BB6 and nearly lost it…) and finally, drinks at Prime 112. We talked about love, sex, sports and life and I’m truly excited that if Julie lands a job out here(which is looking VERY likely) I might actually have a friend in Miami. Woot!!!!

December 9th at 2:23 pm | Uncategorized | 3 comments

reblogged from julia allison

December 9th at 1:39 pm | Uncategorized | 2 comments