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Todays song is actually not just a song. It’s a video!!! Or rather, someones recording of John Mayer doing an impromptu live performance at The Union Underground. To say I have a crush on him would be an understatement. I adore him. Anway, click play to watch John Mayer perform a medley of “Waiting on […]
An open letter to all of my girlfriends (and other women) who are dating married men
Dear Mistresses,
This may seem a bit harsh. But you need harsh. And if you’re friends won’t tell you, who will. I am not judging you. In fact, I love you. I understand you. I was you. Well, not exactly you. […]
kwamby: The Daily News had a “most useless celebs” list in the paper today.
ilyana: Ooooo, who did they pick!
kwamby: That girl from “The Hills.”
ilyana: Oh No! Which one, Lauren or Heidi.
kwamby: Kim Kardashian was #2.
ilyana: Ahahaha, oh no. These are my favorite girls.
kwamby: I know. I said, “Lani is going to be pissed!!”
Epiphany by Jill Scott
kwamby: I’m so impressed with your Thanksgiving picture.
ilyana: Really,lol. Why?
kwamby: Yep. Lani 1.0 would have never put that up. Lani 2.0 doesn’t give a ….. soooo feeling your confidence/swagger.
I had to think about this for a second. What Kwamby was trying to say (and he’s known me for years) was that I used to be […]
“This is my website. If you don’t want to hire me for this transparency, maybe I don’t want to work for you. If you don’t want to date me for this exposure, maybe I don’t want to date you. And if you can’t handle this, there are millions of other sites you should probably be […]
I despise the word bitch. More so, I despise when the word is applied to me. And it actually never had been, until recently. And I honestly feel like it’s only been applied to me because I’ve stood up for myself. Something that I had never been big on, though lately, when my back is against a wall, […]
“Oh My God” - Mark Ronson ft. Lilly Allen
When to let go. I think I stuggle with this question almost pathologically. I don’t like to let go. Of anything. I hate to feel as if I’ve given up. Or failed. Especially with people. I’ve had so many relationships throughout my life, girl-friends and boys, who have dissapointed me, hurt me, betrayed me, even abused […]
While I was organizing one of my bookshelves I found my highschool year book. I thought, “Maybe I should google everyone I went to school with and see what they are doing!” There were only 40 kids in my graduating class, and I don’t know if any of us keep in touch:( Half the time I find out what they’re […]
Pooped from eating too much turkey, macaroni and cheese, candied yams, potato salad, collard greens, peach cobbler and pumpkin pie.
kwamby: You guys need to stop talking backwards.
ilyana: Well, we think its talking forward.
kwamby: This is why I think women make better storytellers. But awful at giving directions.
ilyana: I always say that to The Guy™.”I have a gift. For telling stories…loosely based on fact. Enjoy it!”
“What do I do? What do I do!!!!” My usually bubbly, now totally devastated and sobbing, recently dumped girl-friend asks me.
“I don’t know. I wish I had something really enlightening to say.“ I reply.
“But….. you always have something amazing and comforting to say!”
“Well, I think I ran out of comforting/amazing a few weeks ago.What I’ve got left […]
“Lani’s workspace.” I either need a bigger desk or a smaller lamp,lol.
Mandy: I’m really not sure how I got this fat.
Me: Me either. I was doing so well.
Mandy: What happened?
Me: Well, i don’t know. I think I prefer food over the treadmill. Like, I drive past the gym, to the bakery. And I know I should be going into the gym. But cupcakes just seem like […]
Amerie’s new single, “Thats what U R.”
Everyone in my family jokes that my nephew is the younger, male incarnation of me. The boy has been dating since he was 7 years old. His first girlfriend: “The Rabbi’s daughter.” He’s been having relationship problems as long as I have. And he’s 11. He was catching me up on all of his “girl […]
“Since our relationship had been long distance, and this was the first time he was coming to visit, and you know, the first time we were going to…do it, Lila was dying to know if it was going to be as good as I had built it up to be. So, I told her if […]
Just came from a date with The Guy™. Dinner in Aventura and American Gangster. It.was.lovely….
I was very excited today, because I had an appointment at Beguine Salon for a color and conditioning treatment and the salon is Uber-Adorable.That is Sasha, my colorist. He is from Milan, Italy and thinks “Robbie Williams and Ricky Martin are GORE-geous.”
I’m not sure why a pink bathroom makes me so happy. But I swear I […]
John Mayer and Alicia Keys collaborating on “Lessons Learned” for her new album
Play here ~~~♥
You know she’s an Aquarius, like moi:) And we rock. Sari can confirm our genius (and penchant for disaster!)
At least according to Roland Barthes! Besides, anything I might write today would only serve to prove that I really know nothing about love, relationships or ostensibly, anything of any value to say, another human being. A dog, maybe yes. Which is why I wish I had one, so I could talk to him and pretend […]
I’m really mad/sad/angry/frustrated right now. It’s almost 4 am and I’ve just finished watching Chasing Amy/Armegeddon which is a telling sign for anyone who knows me. I need to make a drastic change in my life.
On another note, though not unrelated, I went to see “Gone Baby Gone” tonight, which was just, incredible. I don’t know if […]
If I’m ever a single again, and move back to NY and into a studio apartment(hope not!), this is what I want it to look like. Sometimes I really miss my old “junior 1″ on 60th and Columbus. It was and remains my most favorite apartment. Damn that Mandy!!! I would have never moved out […]
My air conditioner has broken for the second time in three days. Only this time it’s worse. This time, they can’t fix it until tomorrow, which means that since last night, my apartment has been a humid hot box. And I will have to endure yet another night of rolling around in sweat. I, of the […]
I've been sick for the last week. Which unfortch for me means my brain is mush and I can't put together a coherent sentence. On the bright side, I am on a plane tommorrow headed back to NY!
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MTV's The Hills returned last night and this could be the best season yet. Girl fights, faux proposals, new boobs and old boys, new boys and bad art, and a guy who's name is Justin but wants to be called "Bobby." I'm rockin team L.C all the way:)
Most of the time I get really sweet emails. Saying nice things. But sometimes(okay, just today), I get this:
From: VirginiaGordo1@[redacted]
"This website is boring. Please add more flavor. I was VERY bored with it."
Notice the VERY in all caps. Not to be mistaken for very, which would have meant only mildly bored. In other words, I suck. And […]
"One belongs to New York almost instantly. One belongs to it as much in five minutes as in five years." -Thomas Wolfe
Yeah, not so much in Miami. I kid you not, if you read the Miami "WFW strictly platonic" section on Craigslist, 95% of the women say the same thing. "From NY. Have a brain but […]
Posh Spice might be most favoritest person ever….
On another note, I depart to the hometown of NYC tuesday and will be there for the near future. I've been busy preparing for my trip, and needless to say, I will likely be even busier while in the N.Y. Sooooooo, love you all and don't wait up!
*mwah*
Lani
I've come to the conclusion that our Baby Boomer parents, who produced this generation of men, did us girls a GREAT disservice. They made them completely and totally….. self-absorbed. Now, yes, of course there are some exceptions to this rule. One being one of my best-friends(Kwame) and one being my other BFF's husband(George). But generally speaking, this […]
I know I should be at a barbecue or something, but it's raining, grey and yucky and in Miami you go to the beach to watch the fireworks. So, Starbucks it is! I really really REALLY want to see Transformers tonight, cross your fingers for me. Happy Independance day bitches!!!!
XOXOXO,
Ilyana
So a guy named Donald Ruppert wrote the following real letter to Senator Tom Harkin (Iowa), regarding the new Illegal Immigration Bill. Which my dad's best friend emailed to my dad. And My dad, being the pinch hitter he is, decided to reply to Mr. Ruppert on Senator Harkin's behalf. And this is why I love my […]
The votes have been tallied and by the grace of every friend I have on myspace voting for me, I won two of the three categories I was nominated for via the Dirtyspoke.com Blog Awards. First I would like to thank the wonderful women of Dirtyspoke: Meme, Jenna, Heather and Brandy. I would also like to congratulate and […]
Though my heart and soul are still back in New York, my shoe collection and makeup are here in Miami. Which means, I’m officially a resident. I suppose there are worse places to be, like…Darfur or maybe North Dakota. At least here, in the subtropics, things are still interesting (in that totally superficial, of no […]
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