When do you continue to work on a relationship and when do you just say, “Fuck it” and walk away? I’m struggling with this question. Or should I say, I’m struggling with what my dealbreaker is. Cheating = dealbreaker. This I know. But what I’m learning is that my dealbreaker may not necessarily be someone elses. And vice versa. Things that I am willing to accept, others shake their head at. Things that friends may put up with, I say, “That would make me walk away.” I don’t want to be judged, so I withhold from passing judgement on others. I always say, “Only you and your mate know what happens in your relationship, and only the two of you can define its terms. It’s not for anyone else to tell you what to do.” But I am always desperately afraid of looking stupid. Of being stupid. And love, well……love can make you do things that you would never, ever have thought of doing. Love, can make you a moron. 

So we set boundaries, dealbreakers as a safety. “I know I can’t think clearly. So this is my limit. This is my cue to walk away.” And every time I think I could possibly be at that point, I realize, but this isn’t my dealbreaker. So I can’t rationalize throwing it all away. I believe in commitment and what that means. I believe in compromise and what that means. I also believe in standing by someone when they are at their low. When maybe they are faltering. I think I’ve been conditioned to see through certain darkness to find beauty and compassion and understanding. I get people. I specifically get creative/passionate/a little bit off people.  I get shy people. I get volatile people. Possibly the only humans I don’t get are selfish ones.

I think that we all set out to have these stringent idea’s of things we would never accept in a relationship. But when tested, it seems like so often, those boundaries are pushed and we find out that it’s not as simple as we might have once thought, when true love was more an ideal than a tangible reality full of emotion, investment, sacrifice and tender moments wrapped around your heart.