First off, let me preface this by saying I have strep throat…Wheeee!!!! What gave me strep throat you might ask? Well, I really haven’t the slightest clue, though I would suspect that in one of the following places someone coughed on me, sneezed on me or (and unfortunately this happened entirely too often) some guy would grab my hand  and nearly rip my arm off in an attempt to get my attention? And their grabby hands were probably swimming in germs. IDCK. Fuckers!

Moving on. Mandy(my best-friend) and Miss Donna Trump(who I have decided was the missing piece to our trifecta) arrived at the crack of dawn thursday morning from L.A. Mandy and I needed to do some “maintenace” before hitting any beach(lest we scare the children and elderly) so we headed to Arcayne Salon in North Miami to see the BEST WAX GODDESS ever Josephina. We left with brand new naked bikini’s and as a bonus, she gave us these Lizette Eyebrow kits that make your eyebrows look amazing. We all swear by them now and could not live without them. I don’t like my brows particularly thick, but I do want them to look defined, and since mine tend to be sparse, this kit fills them in without making them look unnatural. Later, we went to Karu &Y in downtown Miami, a very sexy restaurant/club where I was reminded that people can still smoke anywhere in Miami. Which is how I am also reminded that Miami is still in the South. Because any civilized place ie: NY,Cali, DC…. BANS smoking in all restaurants and clubs. So people like me, with Asthma and Allergies don’t ya know… die. Friday was spent at the beach, then off to the Heat/Celtics game (where Shaq literally undressed Miss D with his eyes). The after party was at The Fifth, which wasn’t particularly my favorite spot, but is one of the hottest in Miami if you want to celeb spy. Practically everyone who played in the game earlier was there, including Ray Allen(an old friend) who saw me and said, “I kept looking at you but you look like a completely different person with your hair dark.” And he’s right. I apparently look like Cher! But he is one of the classiest guys in the NBA and that’s a HIGH compliment coming from me!

Saturday we woke up early, headed down to South Beach and tanned/gossiped until 4pm. After a quick pit stop at Wet Willy’s( did you know they have a million mixed drinks and only one virgin drink. Which tastes like grape slushy. Wtf?) we headed over to Oceans Ten, a new restaurant/sports bar on 10th and Ocean to watch UCLA play(and get spanked by) USC. By the end of the game, between some insane concoction from Wet Willys and a ginormous Mojito, Mandy was fully drunk and had us filming her for the next two hours.She is quite possibly the happiest drunk you will ever meet. I am not allowed to post the video though. But DAYUM I wish you could see it because when I watch it it makes me happy:)  It was their last night in Miami and we planned to go to Sushi Samba and Nikki Beach, but instead got in our pajamas and ate at IHOP at 2 am. [redacted] We discussed how Boys suck. But it’s ok. We will. Survive. [redacted deux] There are people dying in Darfur after all. I can live through a broken heart:)